Critiquing is a necessary (though sometimes painful) part of the writing process. If you want to get better, you need feedback. Few people enjoy the soreness after a hard workout, but its necessary to endure some of this to get stronger. Same goes for writing. Anyone that’s regularly attended a critique session – in person or online – has felt the sting of rejection when others didn’t like their work. They may not have connected with a character, or perhaps they weren’t sure about the way you wrote a paragraph, maybe that couldn’t articulate what was wrong, but something just didn’t click. I have found that online groups tend to be harsher. Perhaps the ability to hide behind a screen gives people the idea that they have a free license to be extra harsh when providing “advice” on another’s work. Who knows. That’s just been my experience.
I’ve had some interesting feedback from online groups, such as someone who told me that my character (who was trying to show kindness to a homeless person) was “enabling” them and jumped on their soapbox about how this was a terrible thing, we shouldn’t help homeless people in this fashion, thus it was a terrible story. I had another tell me that, because my character was driving fast while operating a GPS, they ought to “crash and be maimed for life” because this was dangerous, even fictionally. Others have told me they hate detail and only want action, action, ACTION. I even had someone upset that I “caused it to rain” in a scene without prefacing it at all and rant about consistency and how everything must have a cause and effect… Just so you understand this in context: Three sentences prior to the rain, I had two full sentences describing an atmospheric change and dark clouds headed in the character’s direction. Clearly, this person didn’t even bother to read my work, they just wanted to give advice.
And people love doing that, don’t they? They love offering advice, even if it wasn’t asked. To be fair, I do ask for feedback, and I did put my stories out there for any random person in those online forums to offer their advice. But I’ve gotten to a point where I can tell the difference between good and bad advice, harsh but helpful advice, and hateful rhetoric I can ignore. Also, I can usually pinpoint what someone might be trying to tell me, even if they can’t articulate it.
On the flip side, I’ve also been to critique groups where everyone told me what they enjoyed. Where all I got to hear was how much they loooved my scene or all the things that were working. I’m not going to lie and say I despised the ego-stroking LOL but seriously, a writer’s gotta grow at some point. And these types of groups are just as dangerous as the ones who hate your work and tell you you’re garbage. If you think you’re amazing, you’ll share your work with the world before it’s ready. You’ll try to publish something that isn’t fully edited. Or, worse, you’ll get to a point where anyone saying anything contrary to what you’ve heard becomes offensive. And you become stunted. Addicted to words of affirmation instead of seeking truthful responses that will help you produce a masterpiece.
My caution (if you want my two cents worth of advice – yes, I’m aware of the irony in my own article here): if you come to a place in your critique group where you’re only hearing what you want to hear (loads of praise and excitement over your work with little to no constructive feedback), or, you’re receiving negative feedback that’s not provided in a helpful way but makes you feel like a pile of crap…it’s time to start looking for something new.
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